Something that has been jogging at full speed through the pathways of my thoughts all week….
The world is such a vast place, and it often seems like a constant competition of who looks the most beautiful, who is the funniest, kindest, most popular, most successful, richest, etc. There are so many people trying to win this contest! Even without consciously realizing it, we can get caught up in these worldly measurements and forget something. The price tags are always being stuck onto things. They use those awful stickers that never seem to come off. That way the cost can’t be adjusted.
None of these things matter…
Yes, of course they matter out in the swarms of people, and yes they are all nice and helpful things to have to get ahead in life. But why are we always wanting to beat one another at life? Also, what qualifies those people to decide the depth of value placed on each quality or possession?
It becomes so simple to start comparing ourselves to others when the main focus is on what we have or what we don’t have.
This last week, I feel like I have been constantly reminded through all the little things that I, Heather, am not good enough. I don’t tell you this to gain sympathy, but rather to make a point. Here was my reasoning for my lack of value, including but not limited to:
- I didn’t get a $60,000+ paying job when I graduated from college….heck, I didn’t even find a job until 47 applications into the process! And then I went for something just to get insurance! Thanks Obama… You suck. (But I won’t discuss such things further!)
- I haven’t gotten married and my 25th birthday is only 31 days away!!! Unless I place an order on Amazon Prime, there is no way my mail-order husband will be shipped in time for a wedding!!! Haha but seriously, from a woman that was literally called a menace to society at 22 (not joking), the pressure of marriage in our society is high. I want more than anything to be married and be with my best friend for eternity – he just happens to be one of those stubborn dudes that got lost and won’t ask for directions! He hasn’t shown up. Should I settle so people will stop saying things? (Sorry – ain’t gonna happen!)
- I got rejected from 3 schools.
- I bombed the GMAT.
- I can’t afford to live in my own apartment or buy a house. Mooching off parents is so much cooler… Thanks mom and dad! :) They let me stay and save up as much as I can, and I adore them for all they do! But it is hard to explain to people that I am still living at home at the ripe old maid age of 25.
So there you have it. A list of judgements I personally added to my own plate. Yep, I did it to myself. So maybe the pity in a few eyes is hard to deal with…
Why are we so hard on ourselves? Where did we learn such great skills to beat ourselves up? Why do we let the world place us in the 10¢ or less bin out by the side of the road?
I had the blessing and pleasure of meeting with a member of the stake presidency last night for a very important interview. He happened to also be one of my dearest friends, and someone I trust with the deepest corners of my heart. He looked me straight in the soul and asked, “Heath, how are you?” Do you realize it is impossible to just lie to someone you truly love and respect? I had planned to smile and be positive so that I wouldn’t cry. Obviously, I wasn’t planning to lie. I just wanted to hide the sad feelings of inadequacy floating around my mind. But every once in awhile, you find someone who really cares what answer you give to that question. He did. And does.
Now, I won’t share the whole conversation because it is something I am holding sacred to my heart.
But I want you to know this: “The worth of souls is great in the sight of God.” D&C 18:10
I can testify of this because I have seen it at work. My Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ, are aware of me. They know each of us personally. On a day when I didn’t believe in myself and was beating myself to the ground for not being good enough, He sent me an angel to lift me up. To remind me who I am. And He continues to do so….again and again.
So when you are wondering if you have WORTH, please know this: the world does not decide your value! You are of infinite worth. You are immeasurably valuable to God and to His Son.
He lives….and He loves you.
YOU HAVE WORTH.
Who gave the world permission to decide the cost of my value? My price was paid in full. I can rise up and be something more because of Him. Choose today to catch just a glimpse of who He sees in you, and not who the rest of the world sees in you. That is power.
XOXO – Heath (a daughter of the most high God)